Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Shana's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
11:04 pm	Summer recap Well, summer is basically over, and I'm still unemployed. I try not to think about it too much because if I do it just depresses me. I job-hunt online every day and I signed up with a temp agency about two weeks ago, so hopefully something will come along soon. Until then, I'll just keep brushing up on my Price is Right expertise. As for the events of the summer, I went to Florida for a week with Jack and his family over 4th of July. It was kind of crazy, and we both agreed we're never taking another vacation with his family again, but I'm glad I went. There were 9 of us in a house in Kissimmee, just outside of Orlando -- me, Jack, his mom, her fiance, his two sons (9 and 11), Jack's brother (21) and his two sisters (15 and 17). Most of the week we just spent hanging out at the house and in the pool, but one afternoon we went to MGM and another day we went to Magic Kingdom. MGM was a bit of a bust because we didn't stay for very long, but we had the whole day at Magic Kingdom and got to do everything we wanted. Jack and his youngest sister, Michele, and I were our own group both days and had a good time. Thank god, because everybody else just ended up bitching at each other and being miserable and not doing much of anything. Then last month Jack's mom sold their house and moved out to Long Island with her fiance. Jack had just started his job and didn't want to have to commute all the way from Long Island every day, but he needed time to save up some money to get his own apartment. So he moved in with me for a few months. It's been about a month so far, and it's actually going pretty well. I feel kind of like a housewife since I'm not working and I'm at home all day and do things like clean and go shopping and cook dinner. I'm going to miss not having him around when he does get his own place. :( About two weeks ago I took Jack home with me to meet the parents. It was my step-cousin Dawn's wedding, and Jack came with me for the weekend. I think it went pretty well. He liked my mom and she seemed to really like him too. We played board games Saturday night after the wedding, which was fun. Jack fits in really well with that; he's as competitive as me and my family are when it comes to games. We also went over to my step-mom's to see my sisters and nieces and nephews for a few hours. My sister Tosh had a baby girl in June -- Skylar -- and I was there when she was born, so it was great to see her 2 1/2 months later getting so big. Labor Day weekend Jack and I went out to Long Island overnight to visit his mom and see their new house. All the family didn't move out there; it's just his mom, her fiance and his sister Michele, and her fiance's sons are there every other weekend. So it was much quieter than Florida, and we had a nice time. I actually think I ended up spending more time hanging out with Michele while we were there than I did with Jack. But it was nice feeling like we had some girl bonding time. I really like Michele, and Jack has told me that both of his sisters like me, so it was good. We talked about horror movies and her starting school, played games online, and I ended up watching the end of Titanic and all of Miss Congeniality in her room after Jack went to bed. The next day the three of us went to the mall and I helped her pick out some new school clothes, and she walked around the store with me while I was clothes shopping. It was a fun weekend with some good family bonding time. So that's a summing up of my summer. Played a lot of board games, went to Coney Island twice, went swimming in Jack's pool a few times before they sold the house, spent a long weekend in Pittsburgh in July, sang a lot of karaoke. Now it's almost fall and football season has started (go Steelers!) and Halloween is coming up and I'm in a pretty damn good relationship with a guy I'm crazy in love with who makes me happy. :) It's really nice to be able to say that. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 16th, 2007
12:43 pm	Welcome to the Real World I've experienced my first corporate downsizing. Last Thursday, most of my office got laid off because the company that bought ours decided to eliminate two of the imprints (the two I work for). So I'm only here until June 1, and then I become unemployed again. It's a pretty sucky situation, but I've already had one interview and I have two more next week. Everyone who has any connections around here is offering to help out in finding others new jobs. One of the interviews I have is from a connection the Sr. VP & Publisher has. Another came to me through the Publisher of another imprint. And both the editors I work for have said they'll make calls on my behalf to anyone I have an interview with. It makes it easier with everything out in the open like this. No one has to hide the fact that they're looking for a job, and we can be honest when talking to potential employers. I'm trying to be optimistic about the future right now, confident that I'll find something and won't be unemployed and poor and living in a box in the subway station. But if I am, at least I can scope out a nice big box from our mailroom before I leave. (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 12th, 2007
1:38 pm	Meeting the friends Things have been going really well so far with the boyfriend -- Jack. We spend a lot of time together and talk on the phone, even if only briefly, practically every day. I've hung out with his friends a lot, and we even went overnight to Atlantic City last weekend with a few of them. They're cool people, and they like me, which of course makes Jack happy. I can hold my own with the boys. :) This Friday night he's coming with me to a housewarming party for one of my friends. She's actually not someone I know super well, more of a friend of a friend, but she's a cool girl (oddly enough, I briefly dated her ex-boyfriend in January). I know her through Seth, so he'll be there too with his girlfriend and a bunch of other people I'm friends with through them. Anyway, Jack said he'd go with me, and last night he told me he was a little nervous about meeting my friends. Aww, how cute is that? I don't think he has anything to worry about, because he's a very likable, fun, friendly guy. He knows how to work a room. Plus, the only friend of real importance that he's going to meet is Seth (and Laura, since she's Seth's girlfriend). And I don't think Seth's hard to please. I like Jack, so he'll like Jack. And some of the girls have already seen pictures of Jack because I showed them his MySpace page on Oscar night. But it will be an interesting night. I realized yesterday that except for when Ryan met my high school friends at my 21st birthday party, I've never introduced a guy to my friends. Most of the people I've been involved with had a lot of the same friends as me -- Ryan, Matt, Aaron. And the ones who didn't -- Courtney, Eric -- had at least one major friend in common (Nick with Courtney, Carly with Eric -- both how we met) and didn't end up meeting any of my other friends. Bottom line, this is going to be new for me, and apparently new for Jack as well. In the past, he's already known the friends of the girl he's dating, so he hasn't had to meet anyone's friends. But I'm confident he'll do well. And I'm happy he's going through with it for me. It means a lot that he agreed to do it and isn't backing out. I'm not used to that; I think I still carry baggage in the form of a fear of being cancelled on. It happened so much in my past, and I have to remind myself that was just one person, and not everyone is like that. Jack especially. He's so far from that, and it's one of the things I like best about him. He's a considerate, caring person who always follows through and does what he says he will and never makes me doubt him. I can count on him. And that's so important to me. Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 21st, 2007
12:48 pm	The "I Love You" Shower Theory The "I Love You" Shower Theory, so named because I came up with it while I was in the shower the other day. So I've developed this theory on falling in love, or at least telling someone you love them. I started thinking about this the other day because a friend of mine told the guy she's been seeing that she loves him, and he hesitated then said it back. I should mention she was drunk at the time, but she said she actually did mean it. She's worried though that his hesitation (and some things he said the next day) mean that he doesn't actually mean it. I started thinking back on the only two people I've ever said "I love you" to. The first one, I know I meant it. I've actually questioned the second though over the past few years. It was a long-distance relationship, he told me on the first weekend we got together that he thought he loved me, and I thought I might too, and I actually told him maybe a month or two later that I did. He actually confessed that he didn't think it was true when he'd first said it, but by the time I did, he did mean it. And I thought I meant it at the time, but because of the long-distance nature of our relationship and the fact that we didn't see each other in person that many times during the 6 months or so we were "together," I'm not sure anymore if I really was in love with him. I know I cared about him and he made me happy, but I can't be sure. Which brings me to my theory. I think that there are two distinct moments in a relationship, and you have to be able to tell the difference between them. The first moment is when you first think that you love the person you're with. You usually will just think it in your head, and this likely happens early. I don't think that you actually are in love with the person at this point. You really like them, you're attracted to them, you're infatuated and you probably even care about them. But this "love" probably equates to the kind of love you feel for your close friends. With a friend, you can love them quickly. But being in love with someone is different. This is why I don't believe in love at first sight. You can't love a person without really knowing them. The second moment is when you really do love the person, and I can't say for sure how you know. For some people there could be a specific event or something their boyfriend or girlfriend does that makes them realize they're in love. For other people it could be nothing in particular at all, you just suddenly know that you are. For me, when I said it the first time, there was nothing to instigate it. We were sitting on the couch at his parents' house watching a movie one night, and the feeling that I loved him just came to me. I'd been afraid of saying it and not meaning it, so even though he'd been telling me he loved me for over a month, I hadn't said it back. But that night, for whatever reason, I finally knew that I did, and I told him. In my relationship right now, I'm in the first category. I've found myself thinking it in my head. But I know that it's super-early (we've only been seeing each other for a month, and he's only been my boyfriend for just over a week), and the last thing you want to do is say it at the wrong time. And because it's so early, that's why I think that I can't really mean it yet. We should know more about each other, do more things together, have more deep, real conversations. I guess basically what it comes down to is this -- the moment you stop questioning, stop wondering, stop just thinking maybe -- that's when you're actually in love. It will happen. You'll stop questioning it and something will just make you sure. And you'll say it out loud. And you'll be in love. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
3:39 pm	Boy crush So, yeah, that mutual boy crush I previously mentioned -- I've changed my stance. I really like him. Only my friend doesn't know that I've changed my mind, and she still really likes him. So I feel really guilty. And it's possible that he may actually like me. We didn't end up doing that group karaoke thing, but he and I have been talking on IM for the past week a lot. And I actually went out with him and his friends on Saturday to attempt to do karaoke (I didn't end up getting to sing because it was crowded and started late). But none of the flirting that I thought we had been doing online seemed to carry over to hanging out in person. He pretty much acted like we were just friends hanging out. Although he did buy me drinks, and when we got food at a diner after, he paid and wouldn't even let me leave the tip. And then he walked me to the subway. We hugged hello and goodbye (which we've never done before, but it still seemed just friendly). I had a good time, his friends are nice, and he even revealed a few kind-of secrets about himself to me that he normally doesn't to anyone. Our conversations are amazing and on a really wide array of topics. He constantly surprises and impresses me with the things I'm learning about him. Completely not what you'd expect, which makes me like him even more. And he's always saying that I rock and that things that I know about or say impress him. Like when I knew who the lead actors were in one of his favorite movies, Maverick. It was a pretty big movie, and I'd think lots of people know it starred Mel Gibson and James Garner. But I've always been bad about judging these sorts of things. I like someone and it turns out he thinks we're just friends. So then of course I'm afraid to say anything because I don't want to create a potentially awkward friendship. But if I don't say anything to him, I may never know, and that might be worse. Any wise opinions from my bare-bones breakdown of the situation? (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 28th, 2007
3:50 pm	New Job! Okay, so after a long long time of absence, I'm back to announce that I got a job! Finally! I start tomorrow as an Editorial Assistant for Thunder's Mouth Press and Carroll & Graf. Yesterday was my last shift at Barnes & Noble, so no more putting away Dora the Explorer books for me -- yay! I still plan to keep in touch with some of the people there though, especially my friend Alyssa who is definitely my closest friend from there. We're planning a karaoke night next Saturday with our mutual boy crush (though he's more her type than mine, so I give in to her if it comes down to that). He's still a hottie though. Mmm... Um, yeah, that's really all I have to say for now. Things are starting to look up now that I'm back on track with my career. Hopefully things will turn positive in the boy department too. That would be nice. It's kind of sad that I've pretty much only had one real boyfriend ever. Apparently I only attract guys that I'm not into, and I somehow repel the ones I actually do like. One date with me and they vanish from the face of the earth. Go figure. Anyone know how to reverse this phenomenon? Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 12th, 2006
3:29 pm	Long Time, No See So I realized it's been forever since I wrote a post. My blogging attentions have been elsewhere these past few months. There's nothing too much exciting going on anyway. I'm working at Barnes & Noble in the children's department part-time until I find an editorial assistant job at a book publisher. Had an interview last week, so that's good. I've actually gone on a few dates the past couple months. The first two didn't work out (they were into me, but I just couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to keep seeing either of them. No chemistry.) Last night I had dinner with guy #3, and he's a little more promising. At least from my point of view. I don't know if he'll actually call me again or not (he said he would, but guys always say that, and only half of them ever do, so we'll see), but if he does, I'll definitely go out with him again. He's cute -- he looks like a cross between Ed Norton and Jason Dohring (the guy who plays Veronica's boyfriend on "Veronica Mars"). So hopefully he'll call me after Thanksgiving and we'll go out again. And the reason I can't go out with him til after Thanksgiving is that I leave for Key West this Thursday! Woo hoo! I'm going with my mom and step-dad for a week; we get back the night before Thanksgiving, and then I'll be at home over Thanksgiving weekend, shopping on Black Friday and hopefully hanging out with some friends. Ha, it'll probably end up like last year when the only person I saw was Seth, who I see all the time in NYC anyway. Okay, well I did see Christina for about an hour last year when I met up with her at the mall one night. But yay for vacation, sun and fun. The last time I was in Key West I was 12, so this time I get to go drinking in all the bars, which will up the fun quotient considerably. So, yeah, that's basically about it. I've made a few new friends over the past couple months, which is cool. A few of them live in my building, and we hang out about once every week or two. With my random work schedule, it's not like I really have weekends free too often. But they came over on Halloween and we had a few drinks and watched "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!". It's nice to have people to hang out with where I don't even have to go outside. Also, through one of my new neighbor friends, I met another girl (well, woman I guess, she's in her thirties, but it feels so weird to refer to her as a woman), and I've been babysitting her 1 1/2-year-old daughter. So that's been fun and some more income. Never hurts. Although sometimes I can't believe I'm 25 and babysitting again. Okay, that's really all for now. Nice talkin' to you folks again. :) Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Monday, July 17th, 2006
8:13 pm	The Last Week So this is it. My last week at the job. The new girl started today, and I'm training her all week. I can't believe how much there is to learn. You don't realize how much you know until you have to try and teach it to someone else. But it's actually kind of nice realizing that I'm not going to be responsible for all this stuff anymore. I'm not going to have to deal with the post office or getting people health insurance or ordering supplies or calling companies when something goes wrong. None of it is my problem anymore. And hopefully at my next job it will still be someone else's problem. I can focus on more interesting things. And until I get that job, I'll just work on my tan. Not a bad end to summer... (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 6th, 2006
1:24 pm	Holiday weekend Only two more weeks of employment before I become a beach bum. My last day is July 21, and I'm still stressing, though not as much actually. I decided to go to Pittsburgh to visit my relatives from the 21st through the 30th, so I'm really looking forward to that. And somehow that's relaxing me a bit. I'll deal with the no job thing after I get back. I'm just excited that I actually get to go to Pitt sometime before Christmas, cuz I didn't think I'd be able to this year. So I'll get to go to my cousin's birthday party (she's 10), go swimming, and basically just hang out. Fun and relaxing. And cheap. :) In other news, this past weekend was lots of fun. I went home for the weekend, had dinner at my step-mom's on Friday with the family. Saturday my mom and I went to the pool with her friend Donna, and I ended up getting sunburned. I'm still a little ouchie. On Sunday I went to brunch at Eat'n Park with Mike (Courtney's roommate) and his girlfriend Shirley, which made me very happy. Mike and Shirley are two of the greatest people I know. After brunch, Mike invited me to come down to his family's cabin on the Susquehanna River with them for the day, so Shirley and I got some stuff at the store for dinner and we all headed down. It was just the three of us and Bailey, his other roommate Jordy's dog, who is just about the bestest dog on the planet. I love Bailey, and I missed him, so I was happy to get to see him too. So we went in the river a little (I just waded in, they actually got in -- icky flood water), played some makeshift wiffle ball, played with the dog, and had some yummy cookout food -- hamburgers, corn on the cob and strawberries with angel food cake. It was a pretty laid back day, but I'm so glad I got to hang out with them. When I think about it, I really haven't known them all that long, but it kind of feels like they're old friends. We get along really well, and they're super sweet people. I wish I were able to see them more often, but obviously circumstances don't allow that. Maybe if Mike ends up moving to New York for work. But I may go down to the cabin again over Labor Day weekend for a day or so, and they're planning to come up and visit me in the fall, so I have that to look forward to. And Jordy is coming to visit at the end of August. It's amazing how a really crappy, dramatic, awful breakup with a guy got me a bunch of good, new friends. I kinda lucked out. Some people have said why did Courtney even have me go to Philly that weekend if he knew he was going to break up with me, but I'm actually kind of glad it happened the way it did. Even though it really sucked, it certainly doesn't leave me ever wishing I could get back together with him, which a phone call breakup may have, and it gained me a bunch of friends, who I probably wouldn't have otherwise. So I don't think I'd change how things happened because I like the people I got to know and become friends with from it all. Anyway, Monday I had lunch with my friend David, who I met at the infamous Memorial Day party and who I've been talking with online since then. He lives in Hershey, so we got together at Isaac's. Yum. Then I did some shopping, and my mom and I went to the Journey/Def Leppard concert Monday night at Hershey. That was fun. So many songs I didn't realize those groups did. Tuesday I felt like crap; I'd started developing a cold Sunday night and it was full-blown by Monday night. We spent most of the day at home avoiding the thunderstorms, but we had a cookout for dinner and then went to watch the fireworks, where I actually ran into my sister and her family. So I ended up sitting with them, since thier blanket was right next to ours, and watching the fireworks with my nieces. My little Lizzi is such a cutie. She is so my favorite; I just can't help it. Okay, enough for now. I really have to get back to work and actually run out to the bank. Duty calls. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 8th, 2006
1:58 pm	Happy birthday to me... I have now officially entered my mid-20s. And even though I keep saying I'm old, I think it's mostly for effect. I don't really. Only sometimes. It still throws me sometimes when I realize that I'm a real adult with a job, my own apartment, responsibilities and an independent life, making my own choices, doing my own thing. I think that's the real thing that makes me feel older. Not old, just older. But I may be done with birthday now. Ask me next year if I'm going to turn 26 or not. Tonight I'm going out for dinner to one of my favorite Mexican restaurants, Mary Anne's, with a few friends after work. And then I'm planning to go to Magnolia Baker for birthday cupcakes. Yummy. And speaking of cupcakes, my boss brought some in for my birthday, so we're going to have those after lunch. Yay! And my other boss may or may not be bringing back champagne. She does that for birthdays. We're celebratory around here. And I made sure everyone knew this year that it was my birthday, cuz last year no one knew, so I didn't even get wished a happy birthday. Tomorrow we get out of work at 2, and I'm hopping on the train to go home for the weekend. Looking forward to it. C. will not be coming. C. will not be going anywhere with me ever again. It was a huge, drama-filled thing Memorial Day weekend in Philly, and it was bad. Though I was not really a participant in any of the drama. It affected me, but I was possibly the only calm person involved. Way to take the high road, Shana. I was in pretty bad shape for a few days, but I'm doing better now. And all of his friends have been so great. They still want to be friends with me, which I'm glad for. They're pretty upset with C. and last I knew were still not speaking to him. But I've been emailing with a few people, and they want to come and visit me when they can and keep in touch and such. I don't know what I would have done that night without them, cuz they made it a whole lot easier to deal with what was going on. They're good people. I just wish they weren't all so far away. It always seems that my good friends are. But anyway, today I am happy and celebratory, even though it is raining and I am at work (which I should get back to now because my lunch time is over). I resolve that 25 will be a good year. Current Mood: cheerful (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 25th, 2006
3:48 pm	Party Time Ooh, so it turns out that on Tuesday I get to go to a publishing party after work. Red Dress Ink, the chick lit imprint of Harlequin, is having a party for their Girls Night In anthology that one of our authors is in. And because of that, the agent here who represents her got an invitation to the party. So when I gave it to her the other day after opening the mail, I mentioned that it sounded like fun and that I would like to go, and today she told me that she RSVP'd for her and a guest, so she's going to take me. I know it's probably going to be mostly schmoozy stuff, but it's a genre and imprint that I like with authors that I like reading, including I'm sure our client. And when it's an event that actually interests me, I want to go. Plus, I've heard that Red Dress Ink throws good parties. :) And who knows, maybe it'll be a chance for me to meet an editor who's looking for an editorial assistant... So besides my fashionable publishing life (haha), I'm so excited about this weekend. Tomorrow starts our summer Fridays, so I get out of work at 2pm, and I'm heading straight to the bus station and going to Philly, where C. will pick me up on his way home from work. Then I get to spend the whole long weekend with him, and their huge Memorial Day party is on Saturday. (http://www.quackpipe.com/events/) Plus, the weather's supposed to be great -- 80s and sunny all weekend. Yay! The following weekend is my birthday party in NYC, so hopefully lots of people will come out to celebrate (and since I'm not making them come to Brooklyn, the odds are much higher people will show). And my actual birthday (25!!) is only two weeks from today. I'm gettin' old. Quarter century. I think I might be done after this one. No more getting older. 25 is enough. The weekend after my birthday I'm going home to see the fam, and C. is supposed to come with me for part of the weekend. Nothing like introducing the boy to the fam to freak him out. :) I was thinking about it the other day, and I realized that except for the time that my mom met Aaron kind of by chance when she came to town for the weekend and he came with me to meet her at the train station because we'd been out for a drink, my family hasn't met a boy since Ryan. Wow. In three years they haven't met anyone I've dated. And I haven't dated anyone of enough significance for them to have met my family. C. is on the fast track. Also when I go home that weekend, my mom confirmed today that we're having my baby niece's 1st birthday party at our house that Saturday. I'm kind of excited that we are. First of all, I'm just happy I actually get to be at her 1st birthday party, but it'll be fun to have it. Plus I get to see all of the family, which will be nice since I don't see anyone that often. And who knows, depending on what time C. has to leave to go back to Philly, maybe he'll stay for the party. Talk about total immersion. Okay, time to get back to "work" and maybe eat my reduced fat banana chocolate chip coffee cake from Starbucks. Mmm... Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 18th, 2006
11:58 am	I stand partially corrected on my previous post. I have not actually rejected this prison guy because he never includes a SASE with his query. Not my problem. (Comment on this)
11:47 am	Query spamming? It's pretty bad when you're able to identify query writers just by seeing their names. We constantly get the same query letter from this guy who's in a Federal Correctional Institute, and just by seeing his name on the return address, I know exactly who he is and what his query is about and that I've rejected him every single time. Yet he still keeps writing. Why won't he leave me alone? (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
4:40 pm	My Dream List While updating information on editors and their interests in our computer system today, I started thinking about what kinds of books I would want to acquire when I someday become an editor. Basically I guess it would be the kinds of things I have on my shelf at home -- chick lit, preferrably with an edge or wit of some sort (I like Jane Green's books, Bridget Jones's Diary, The Devil Wears Prada, The Nanny Diaries, Good in Bed); possibly some magical/mystical literary fiction type stuff in the vein of Alice Hoffman; commercial and literary fiction and women's fiction (books like Empire Falls, The Dive From Claussen's Pier, Anita Shreve's books, Anne Tyler's books). I'm sure I would consider a small amount of nonfiction, but it would definitely have to be narrative nonfiction, something along the lines of The Perfect Storm. I want my nonfiction to read like fiction basically. I find it really interesting how many people/editors out there actually like a lot of nonfiction. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing for me. It's a good thing if I'm competing against someone in a job search who wants a nonfiction position when I want a fiction one. We wouldn't want the same jobs. But it's a bad thing if there are actually more nonfiction positions out there when I'm looking for a fiction one. I guess as long as I find one that includes a good mix of fiction and nonfiction I would be happy enough. I couldn't bear to work on business or history books or self-help all the time. (Comment on this)
12:56 pm	Oh Grey's, you make me sad Season finale of Grey's Anatomy last night -- heart-breaking. I cried for like half an hour. Sobbing. I haven't cried like that in almost 2 months. And I'm so mad that Denny died! I know it makes for good TV, but it was awful! Izzie loved him, she saved his life and agreed to marry him and they were going to be so happy. And then he died, and she wasn't even there with him; he was alone. Seeing her lying there next to him made me so sad. At least Alex finally showed some compassion and was really sweet to her, telling her Denny wasn't there anymore, just his body, and Denny wouldn't want her to be like that. And when he picked her up from the bed and sat down and just held her in his lap, it was really sweet. As for Meredith and Derek, really I'm so mad at McDreamy. Meredith tried so hard to get over him and she was finallly starting to succeed. And he goes and gets all upset over her dating the vet when he had no right to be. He chose Addison. He made his choice and he broke Meredith's heart, but he chose. How dare he do this now, to both of them. Meredith was trying to get away from him at the dance, but he followed her. She would have hidden out til she could compose herself again, but he came after her, he pushed the issue. She was trying to be good, trying to be over him, trying to move on. It's so wrong for an ex who did the hurting to ask for another chance when the other person has been trying to move on. What about the new love interest? They don't deserve that. Which really kind of brings me to why I think this episode affected me so much. It was all about love and relationships, and some of the issues made me think about stuff. And wonder. And worry. And feel scared. And I really haven't been given a reason to worry or feel scared, but that doesn't mean I don't. Relationships can be scary. Undefined relationships even scarier. And ones that come with baggage. Baggage is precarious and makes me nervous. Because there's nothing I can do to control it. Why all of a sudden have I become so afraid of getting hurt? I liked it better when he was nervous and I was confident and sure. Current Mood: nervous (Comment on this)
Friday, May 12th, 2006
2:44 pm	Only in NYC Mandy, you'll appreciate this -- I just saw Anderson Cooper at the bank. He was up at the teller window when I walked in, and for some reason, just by looking at the back of his head and part of the side of his face, I thought, gee, that looks like Anderson Cooper. And then I got a better look at him, and it was. It's so weird to think that I used to watch him on Channel 1 when I was in 6th grade and his hair was still brown. Also, on a semi-related note, a few weeks ago I saw Mark Zupan from the documentary "Murderball" on the corner of 6th Ave. and 20th Street. Fridays seem to be good celebrity sighting days around here. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 9th, 2006
1:25 pm	It was a pretty laid-back weekend. C. and I didn't do all that much, but it was great just having him here. I made tacos and margaritas for dinner on Friday since it was Cinco de Mayo. Saturday we took a walk in the park and sat by the lake for a while talking and people watching. Then we went to dinner at an Italian place nearby and went to see Mission: Impossible 3. Sunday we really did nothing; we both fell asleep on the couch after breakfast for about 2 1/2 hours while half-watching the Yankees game. When we woke up, we watched more of the Game Show Network (which we were kind of addicted to all weekend) and eventually picked up some Chinese for dinner. He stayed to watch Grey's Anatomy and then went back to Philly. :( I know it sounds vaguely lame, but I couldn't have cared what we did. I was just happy to see him. We're not going to get to see each other either of the next two weekends, so the next time is Memorial Day weekend when I go to Philly. He and his roommates are having a big party that Saturday, so I'm looking forward to that. Plus, that's the weekend our summer Fridays start at work, so I get out at 2, then I'm off on Monday for the holiday, so we get to have a long weekend together. Yay! Only 17 days, that's not so bad. It sounds much better than almost 3 weeks. So bored with work right now. Blah. And I'm starting to wonder what it is I do with my life after all my shows have their season finales and there's nothing on TV at night. I never can remember. And I fell asleep last night during the season finale of What About Brian?, so I have no idea what happened. I hate it when I do that. I fell asleep last Wednesday during Lost, and I'm SO mad at myself for that. C. couldn't believe it; he had to fill me in when he called afterwards and woke me up. Oops. I will NOT do that again this Wednesday. I'm putting in a tape to cover my bases just in case though, so at least I won't miss anything if I do. So lame. Ooh, and I finally finished my roll of film this weekend that's been in my camera for who knows how long. The last time I remember using it was at Christmas, and I know it's been in there since before that. So I just dropped it off at CVS, and I'm going to pick it up after work. I'm excited to see what I have pictures of. Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Friday, May 5th, 2006
2:25 pm	5 hours and counting... until C. gets here. Yay for the weekend!! :) Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006
12:58 pm	Man, today just sucks. Everything seems to be stressing me out today, and I don't want to be here at all. Cristina's being loud and snippy about things, the phone keeps ringing, I'm stressing in anticipation of a huge amount of royalty statements showing up this afternoon, and I have to read an essay and a proposal so that I can write coherent cover letters for them and send them out. Kim hasn't been very friendly to me the past few days, and I'm not sure if she's just zoning out because her boss isn't here or if she's mad at me for some reason. So I tried to relax when I went out to take the deposit to the bank, forget about the office for a few minutes, and I picked up a caramel latte and a chocolate cupcake from Starbucks. But then like 2 minutes after I got back, I checked my email and there was an email from my boss about something that I did that he didn't like, and I just don't take criticism like that well, especially when I'm already stressed about other things. My face got all flushed and I just wanted to run right back out of the office and hide. But of course I can't. No, I have to sit here at my desk and eat my lunch and answer the phone. I hate feeling obligated to work through lunch. Last night I vented about my work stresses and irritations to C. on the phone, which made me feel a little better. He's so sweet. Only 3 more days until he comes to visit for the weekend -- yay! That's my bright light at the end of this dark tunnel of a work week. Current Mood: stressed (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
1:34 pm	word on the street is vanilla extract and condoms are not compatible shopping purchases. who knew? (Comment on this)